Chapter 1: Book of Healing

This is the beginning of the book for my children and all those who know me...

Balancing, or centering, one’s self is the most honoring and loving act one can do for their soul. Understanding the Intimacy we have between ourselves and our Divine nature is where we find true love and joy. It is not a fleeting, temporary “high.” It is not a faucet to turn on and off. It is a continual regeneration process that allows our cells and even our atoms to align the way they were meant to be. We are created as part of this great system called the Universe! And we were given a soul, if you so choose to call it, to be alive.

When my children were born, they were cleaned up and their chords were cut. Each one was born healthy and beautifully whole. The first thing they did was cry out to the world. The second act then was to stop, look around them and smile. All three of my children had the same reaction. They were fully prepared and fully ready to be in the body they were given. There were no judgments, prejudices, fears or emotions. They exhibited raw and open communication. And then the immediate need to be comforted and fed. But in that moment of awakening, they were present in their new bodies.

I want to explore the longing we all have for Balance. The importance of being aware of our nature goes beyond our place in this world. Many believe there are alternate universes. Others too believe there are multiple lifetimes to create these universes. Whatever the case may be, we are all made of an energy that is perfect, created in Love and Light, and even when our bodies expire, it does not ever disappear. That is everlasting life. And it is aligned perfectly within the order in which we were made.

My goal is to share with you my own journey, my visions, and my life lessons that I have been blessed to have along the way. I am now, as an aware person, able to recognize that some of these lessons were “good” and some were “bad” but they all are “perfect”. In order to understand who we are we must be open to why we are here. Therefore we will know that what happens to the lessons we learn along the way will be imprinted, not only on those who come after us, but also as part of the existing Light, or Soul, that is within us. I want to explore what it means to see the world as complete, neither “good” nor “bad”. And how we can shed those illusions that create a barrier between our self-worth and our self-actualization.

The Good, The Bad, and The Loving

I am writing this to all my friends and family and my true loves as I live it. Within the last year, I have had to learn and understand a new way of approaching my life, the Universe and the collective consciousness of all beings together. I am learning to be Balanced within myself, thus why I want to share it with you. It is as if I have been preparing and honing in skills to make Life more detailed, more open, more attractive, more specific. More is not always “good” or “bad”—it can add more stress, more time constraints (if allowed), more uncertainty, more risks and more heartache. Positive and negative must flow together to create light and love. I understand that, but if love is true and light is pure, then why is it often we reach for the darkness? Why do we like the imbalance?

Where does it say that we have to live miserably or uneventful lives or always search for happy ever after? Everywhere we get these impressions and these ultimatums. Do as I say or you won’t get what you need/want/desire. This is what I see in the constructs of marriage, work, religion, and even how we teach our children. Why give our youth this construct and ignore their true education—teaching them that they can construct their own lives? We learn that “because I said so” is a viable option in pop psychology, we are allowed to use it in a controlling way to manipulate others. And in some systems, like religion and corporate business, we are rewarded for those constructs! Promoted and venerated. We live for work in the United States, not work to live as they do in other countries. We spend our time contemplating our existence but find ourselves ruled by “guilt” and “obligation”. And we go on thinking that others control our lives. Or better yet, that we are suppose to let them.

When we don’t match up to the norm of societal imprinting, we self-deprecate or blame others. It’s the fault of my (fill-in-the-blank) that I didn’t get this done. It’s everyone else’s job to fix me. I am not responsible for my actions because I am just a victim/pawn/sheep. Why do we truly allow ourselves to be controlled like that? No seriously. Are we avoiding unpleasantness to stay within our comfort zones? Or do we just truly not want to rock the boat? Is it conscious or not? I believe often it is a choice—and when pushed to change that way of thinking, we retreat into ourselves and “label” the conflict as “bad” or “wrong” or “negative”, and my favorite, “evil.” We don’t see conflicts and challenges as gifts that we are given to learn.

So all “positive” is generally labeled as “godly” and all “negative” is generally labeled “satanic” or “worldly”. The constructs of opposition that were designed to control the masses through religious superiority date back thousands of years even before Judaism, Christianity or Islam. These separations of human traits into deification were long implemented by tribal systems in polytheistic societies. We had gods and goddesses who we asked to grow our food and control our weather. (We still do, by the way—it’s a natural request!) We sacrificed our domesticated animals as offerings in our stead for prosperity and blessing and cleansing and forgiveness. We burned our totems and representations of ourselves to honor the seasons, the harvest and the gift of life. Throughout the history of mankind we have ingested, drank, smoked, painted on ourselves, branded, worn, and blood-let our offerings to our deities. Using our bodies for “sacrifice” in some way is also looked at as “godly” or “holy”. I could write for pages on the specifics of ritual and prayer and our ever evolving human desire to communicate with God and the daily hope and desire to be blessed and loved unconditionally.

The Have-To Mentality – Living in a Black-and-White World

Continuing on the theme of “good” and “bad”, let’s address the why. We need to fit into time, space and have identity. We need to see ourselves as an individual and a part of a greater whole. We have determined that our path is set in the manner in which we have created it, but we don’t take the truth of the daily continuation to “take the wheel” as an option—we’d rather let someone or something else “drive.” The millions who daily succumb to the internal and external allowances that tell us we “have to” thus keep us at a black-and-white thinking mentality. This is the engine that we operate everyday but don’t think we do.

For instance, I know several women who are facing major crises in their lives right now. Two of them have hit the proverbial “brick wall” and don’t know where to go with their lives. They were brought together under dire circumstances. The first woman had to leave a situation that created an abuse cycle. The second woman offered to “rescue” her by opening her home. The first woman responded when her “rope” ran out by lashing out—blaming everyone and everything around her. It was so-and-so’s fault she wasn’t rescued from her situation. It was so-and-so’s fault that he lied to her about his intentions. It was the other woman’s fault because she lied about her position and where she was in life. It is everyone’s fault that she cannot stop drinking to ease the pain. And it’s now the fault of society that she cannot cope or function.

This life path has given her a “comfort zone” where she does not have to take responsibility for her actions or her own affect on those around her. Her drinking, for instance, gives her the “freedom” to tell the truth how she feels—and it allows her also to hurt others with her negative and degrading words. We learn these behaviors, yes, and she has a great teacher with whom she now resides. So thus they must find their own way out of their own blaming or they will never heal from the wounds that were inflicted by themselves or by others. And I am so grateful they have to face their lack of acceptance together—what better way to find out who you are but by going back to the source of first conflict!

The other woman facing a major crisis created her own world too. She hit her “brick wall” and ended up in the hospital. She internalized and blamed herself for every wrong-doing in her life. She took the responsibility for her husband’s abuse and control, her children’s needs while sacrificing her own, and the encounter she had that brought these two women together. She took it all. And it just about killed her. She is so far into blaming herself, that she apologized profusely for even creating the chaos that ensued—taking the blame for so-and-so’s taking advantage of her generosity and taking the blame for the other woman’s drinking! Her partner “blames” her for it all as well, magnifying her own self-hatred, and then he commandeered the credit for trying to rescue the other woman from her plight as if it was all his idea.

A lot of drama and anger and spewing obligatory judgments later, as I watched this unfold, I engaged both women in their interpretation of what happened. I see that the woman who took all the blame will end up being able to re-center. She is out of the situation as well, forcing herself to work through her own lies, faults, avenues of escape, and paths to self-destruction. She is conscious of who she is and where she went “wrong” in her path. But it will take a lot of work if she is not able to find her own self-worth, the side of the coin that gives her purpose and meaning and individuality—she gave those away. In order for her to find the truth, she must stop labeling herself or her actions as “bad” and find the reason and lesson behind them. She must also learn that she is worth the transformation. This may be the greatest hurdle she must face. Then, when her paths are realigned, it is beneficial for her to surround herself with others who see her beauty and compassion as honorable traits.

As for the first woman, I am truly a great fan of her recovery and her coming to center. However, in her fight to blame others, she has lost the one most important component of herself: the truth that she can heal her own wounds and find her own path. She denies her own strength and fights against taking her own individuality. The same self-loathing concepts come from this deviation from center as well, but they are harder to accept. The social constructs that run the experiences she had will too have a lasting impact on her “guilt” and “shame” and “judgment”. If she only basis her balancing on using “psychology”, she may never remove the labels. And the further spiritual construct of her religion will also place labels on her as “forgiven” or “sinner” or “fallen”. The experience itself is thus lost and not examined as the challenge and life lesson it could be, but written off as just the “bad” happenstance it became.

I have not been perfect in my thinking! Not by any means. I have been scorned repeatedly by my society because of my beliefs, my open mind, my compassionate heart, my love of living life to the fullest. So I too have moments where I “blame”—others for their inherent inability to see the truth because of the walls they have built for themselves, and myself for falling prey to a series of “emotional vampires” that want to take my dreams from me and create the construct around me that they are “selfish” or “bad” or “unachievable” (my favorite!).

I daily go over my system of beliefs, my goals and dreams, and reevaluate if they are serving their purpose: to allow me to grow and mature in wisdom and compassion. I too forget to be grateful for my challenges!! I too forget to honor the Universe for giving me the people in my life that have helped my journey by helping and hurting me alike. Knowing what I know now, I can see where there were times those same people, especially those I loved the most and was closest to, taught me so much about myself. I too gave up my power to others because of social constructs: parents, spouses, teachers, bosses, therapists and pastors and priests, doctors, schools, governments, corporations, churches, and those within those systems that wanted to have control over me.

Breaking Outside the Box—I Choose To Create My World

The true freedom of centered thought and living a balanced life is given to us in the form of gratefulness. We find we can be thankful for every part of our life, every part of ourselves, and every moment of space and time we are given, we can be truly free.
This is the key.

My kids play this wonderful game I adore called Kingdom Hearts. Sora (my daughter Jacquelyn’s heartthrob), is a young man who finds a “keyblade” sword that gives him power to fight against the “heartless”—creatures made out of the “darkness” that are soulless and come at him and his companions, Donald and Goofy (yes, the Disney characters), in different scenarios and settings so they can gain points by destroying the lifeless creatures. Of course, being a fan of the fantasy of Disney, I enjoy the combination of Disney’s magical and cartoon-created worlds as the backdrop of such a simple yet tedious game. Knowing that Sora must rescue his true love Kairi and save King Mickey, he must journey through different adventures and fight these heartless (“energy vampire”) creatures, collect treasures (“wisdom”) along the way, and then face each world’s arch-nemesis and fight to destroy the Darkness taking over the Universe.

Now, as an anthropologist, actor and storyteller, I have worn all the hats that have given me the appreciation for the myth and the archetype. I dive into stories that capture the essence of humanity and its arena as played out by the gods. I too have a fascination for the game! (Though I am not good at it). We have our protagonist, young and handsome, his Rosencrantz and Guildenstern sidekicks, a royal quest, a beautiful soulmate, a fairy godparent-style helpmate in each Kingdom quest (from Ariel to Tarzan to Simba to Tron), a myriad of paths to explore in each world, weapons and magic to collect (objects for reaching enlightenment), and doors to open.

The pantheistic approach to the story (The Seven Princesses are of pure heart light and the Seven Villains trying to join forces to take over the Universe) gives us a fantastic template for adventure!! Okay, so why do we not have the ability to wield our own “keyblade” (gratefulness), fight our own Heartless (constructs), find our own treasures and weapons (wisdom, beliefs), create our own magic (centeredness), fill our days with the restless slumber of the Dreamworld created by the mind of a boy and his Universe? Many of my friends say that’s because we need to learn to write code and work for a Japanese production company. NO! That’s not what I meant. Living the fantasy is not really a fantasy. Okay, I would prefer sometimes to sit and play the video game rather than face the world around me we live in. I love adventure and role-playing as much as the next Trekkie or Browncoat (If you don’t have any cultural reference, feel free to use the construct known as the Internet to inform yourself on these concepts )

Back to Reality – I Desire and I Choose My Life

So how do we choose our own lives? Say, for argument sake, I am right. Or at least right for me. Say we can see our lives in the way we would watch a movie. Well, we are born into a scientifically measurable construct: birth, life, death. We come into a body that is made of millions of cells that all have a specific function (our own little world, so to speak). We grow exponentially and use this object on top of our heads, called a brain, to control the functions of our body and process the three-dimensional environment in which we are living (not much different than from the fantasy world created and lived through by Sora in the story). We have our own constructs of ourselves to learn and grow within: Parents to care for our infant selves that teach us everything we must know about our immediate world around us—we learn love and fear from them, reality and fantasy, safety and danger, praise and criticism. We find competition (siblings) and survival (food, water, shelter) to be our life goals. And we have our first memories and adventures.

Think of what your memory would be if you were born into the body of a woman addicted to crack-cocaine and your first memories of the outside world involved drive-by shootings and hunger pains. Think of what your challenges may be and how they must appear in these early years as insurmountable constructs. What do you think you could do to create your world into something that could evolve out of violence and self-hate? What if you were surrounded everyday by those who would represent the “heartless”—drug dealers, abusive elders, life-takers, self-loathing, and fear-based teachers? What have we collected in our arsenal then? We are born with our ability to survive, our instinct allows us to hide and to fight against the competition and constructs around us.

We find our first steps out of the nest into a world called Education. Now, we can build our adventure beyond our immediate social system. We teach about other heroes in school—our teachers, our historical figures, our mentors—and we collect treasures (knowledge, language, creative expression) while we look for weaponry and magic (competition, grades, achievements, self-esteem, social constructs). We can choose whether these elements are used for “good” or “bad” in our system. We are taught they are one or the other most often. Throwing sand at another student in recess gives us a punishment; whereas learning to spell and becoming the spelling bee champion gives us a reward. We are taught that coloring outside the lines is not healthy, and that coming to a wrong conclusion mathematically gives us points off our grades. That student who grew up in the hostile environment of violence, gangs and drugs, now has the opportunity to see beyond their own belief system. What they do with this knowledge is up to them.

The further along our body travels in time and space, within the construct of our life’s reality; we learn new and sometimes contradictory lessons. Some of our religious constructs teach us that taking a life of another is a sin or “bad”. But then we find out that taking a life of another in a time of war is an honorable and rewarded act that is labeled “good”. Having an abortion—I know, I’m going there—is labeled “bad” by some but practiced as “good” by others. It can leave some emotionally scarred, which makes the memory and experience a “bad” one, but it can also save the life of another who would ultimately be kept in a situation of fear, bondage or control, which is then labeled “good” by those who see it as a means to escape those constructs.

Living La Vida Social: Creating our Wants and Needs

We learn through childhood how our world system views our “wants” and “needs” and we are told that they are “good” and “bad” thus by our social network. In my youth, for instance, I grew up in a middle-upper class suburb of Chicago. Most of my classmates were Caucasian and Christian. Most of my playmates were from educated families. And most of my experiences were within the “norm” of my environment. I was somewhat rebellious in my mind and with my beliefs, but never beyond the construct of the environment. I then went to college and married within my construct as well. Remember, I am also bound, as are you, by a quantifiable space and time—my decade was defined as of Reaganomics, material wealth building, the falling of the Berlin Wall (representing the end of a perceived Cold War), Hippies as parents (not mine), and the invention of the buzzword DINK (Double-Income No Kids) as an acceptable societal construct. So my “wants” and “needs” were too defined by my society—what I should wear, how I should behave, and what I ought to believe.

I did not pursue my dreams because they were “not achievable” and “not normal” and outside the realm of experience for a Midwestern girl to have. At that time, I would have had to move outside my social circle to New York or Los Angeles to become a professional actor. Even acting in Chicago at the time was very experimental and I did not inform myself of the benefits of continuing my acting even at that level. And as far as my educational pursuits were concerned, I was challenged with not being able to return to college because of a change in governmental funding (i.e. Bush Sr. was elected). So I had to find another route for education. My self-righteousness as an intellectual superior was counterbalanced with financial restraints. I was “told” I could not afford to go back to school and I tried to live once again within the balance of perceived allowance.

Now, as an adult, I see where I missed some opportunities of success and a possible future as a professional actor because I put off my dreams to appease and succumb to the dreams and realities of others. I have no regrets. I experienced a life that I can now use in my acting and have a plethora of stories, archetypes, constructs and beliefs to draw upon for my acting, writing and vision for my own life. I have been given the gifts of three beautiful children, the freedom from my original social constructs in which to live a complete and fully realized life. And now I see my path is exactly as I desire it to be. I am learning how to jump from the three-dimensional body I was given (development of the natural self) into the multi-dimensional self who is connected with the Universe and given the blessings of using the collective wisdom, knowledge and understanding to bless and heal others.

I also know that my wants and needs and thus my visions have matured and been given proper care. The large-scale pruning I had to undergo was the next step to my journey and a way for me to accomplish my original goals. I did not know, however, I would have to do most of the work in myself alone. Being a single mother is not the “ideal” construct I desired. I truly wanted the happy ever after marriage. But that would have meant that my partner would also have been blessed with the same gifts of long-term understanding to be able to see a clearer outcome to create together. I was not given that gift of partnership in the traditional sense, but another that would lead me to my dreams and goals.

I do not need to be in any other relationship to be happy!! But I choose those relationships wisely so that I surround myself with people that I can learn from, teach, and we work in the same direction toward centeredness. I have amazing relationships with my Creator, my Mentors, my Teachers, my Students, my Siblings (all I call brothers and sisters) and my children (the three I was blessed to birth and those who I also call my children). And along the way I have met those I have fallen in love with and let go.

I have been blessed by the abilities of Reason and Vision. I was not born from a mother addicted to crack-cocaine. Nor was I born within a family of privilege, though we had material comforts. I cannot imagine waking up to gunshots outside my nursery. Nor can I understand going to summer camps with other over-privileged children. I know others who have experienced these childhoods, however, and they are blessed with their own challenges and constructs. I was, however, born to create a life of intellectual pursuit, which in and of itself has its own “good” and “bad” sides. Having a life-long desire to be an educated genius is tempered and monitored by the path of being surrounded by other intellectuals who do and do not have vision. Some of the paths I have taken have given me a greater understanding of false realities. Some have given me a deep appreciation of my faculties and the way I see myself as a gift and as centered. Let’s put it this way—there have been enough nay-sayers in my life to keep me from becoming arrogant, self-important, or “successful” in any of my original life pursuits. And I am so grateful!

Going into a field, such as Medicine or Religion or even my chosen field of Anthropology and the Social Sciences, is like putting on a set of clothing that is limited by color, shape and size. I chose the path of the Scholar instead of the Actor because it had more, well, “prestige”. In the 1980’s and 1990’s, the acting community at large (film, commercial, Hollywood) was defined by its roles in material ways and most of the actors I followed were and are iconic representations of that time. The ones I most admired are the ones that are still around today and I will meet them all someday and tell them how grateful I can follow in their footsteps. But back during those times, I chose what I loved: ministry, parenthood, writing and leadership roles that I was allowed to construct within the definitions of my family, my marriage, my social system and my belief system. I limited myself. I never swayed outside those constructs. And though I was continually told what I “could” and “could not” do by the very closest of my social environment, I chose to express my creativity within those realms—I threw myself into education and educating my children.

Follow the Yellow Brick Road—Creating Desires Outside the Box

In additional writings (chapters), I will go into more detail on the impact of those years on my adult understanding and development. However many times I was told I wasn’t “allowed” to do something I wanted to pursue, no matter how many dreams I put on hold to educate and raise children, I never gave up the ability to Reason or Learn. I spent every day, doing something to find meaning within my existence. I was given great books of understanding, including but not limited to those within my religious system. And I found joy in writing out my emotions, which at the time were limited because I did not understand that they too were illusions. But I did what I loved and I loved what I did: I am the mother of three brilliant and incredible children!! That was my life’s work.

However, as paths and doors turn and unfold, my “keyblade” and self-righteousness were challenged by the “heartless”—systems and constructs based on Fear and Judgment—and they removed my children from me for a short time. They still to this day believe what they did was “just” and “right—I became the object of their “bad” as they maintain their system of “good”. I am not purporting that the individuals in the system are to be labeled “good” or “bad”—they have had their paths like the rest of us. In fact, I struggle daily feeling “sorry” for their ignorance. But the system as a whole created an image through the eyes of human-run and controlling social filters (those I had followed and obeyed!—Religion, Law and Social Status) that gave my perceived Life of self-denial, survival, security and social significance a mighty shake and the rug was pulled out from underneath me—the corruption of such systems that favors some then must take away from others.

Think about this: Now I had no direct connection to the Divine because I was all of the sudden labeled unworthy of that Divinity!! Amazing. I colored outside the lines, yes, but it did not warrant a 10 year reaction from those who said they loved me to go all-out in warfare against me and thus damaging my children’s paths by not giving them what they too needed, their mother. And the strangest outcome of this: I believed them. At the time.

With this psychic and social break, however, I was able to realize some of my own dreams: I finished my own schooling, I traveled to learn another language, I read what I want to read, learn what I want to learn, and I have decided to pursue what I have most desired for my entire life: a career in Acting. I have learned to love a mate and partner more than I ever thought I was capable of loving. I have traveled to places I wanted to go, and I plan trips for future adventures now, expanding my Universe beyond the borders of my original imagination. I have met some of the greatest minds of this world—in person, in books, in spirit—and I have been allowed to find the Balance I sought for so many years.

My oldest daughter, the one resembling in personality the infamous now-acclaimed Sora, has sought to fight her own battles and create her own worlds. She has lived with me and under my guidance for 4 years now. And she is brilliant, creative, talented as a singer and blessed with a superior intelligence as well. This is the great start of her adventures from within her own reality into the worlds of danger and intrigue and mystery to come. She too, like her mother, has been able to see a bigger picture. She has a vision that is only limited by her fledgling ideologies and it will serve her well. She has a large social system, amazing friends, and she’s tall and beautiful. What every mother would want for her child—that, and a shotgun to ward off life’s intruders . Oh, well, we can’t have everything, can we? (That is a joke, for any of you who are offended by the paradigm).

My youngest has returned to live within the construct of that family and religious system in order to receive further guidance and be in her own “safety net”—she is not quite ready to adventure beyond the constructs she has been taught. Living with me for 1 1/2 years, she had the gift and challenge of being graced with a more independent lifestyle, more open thought, and she fought against it daily while processing her own self worth in my home. In a predictable turn of events, her inability to understand her environment with me, the other social constructs in her life refused to support her choice and I was forced to allow her return. She is where she needs to be for now. She too is beautiful, intelligent, charming and gregarious. She has her mother’s gift of storytelling and will be blessed as a role model in whatever she pursues.

My son is a beautiful example of a brilliant mind at work, slowly taking in his environment, shyly understanding the world around him. He is finding his own path while making his own assessments. His amazing intelligence, coupled with his superior athletic ability, makes him a target for a lot of lower-minded jealousy but also will give him the gift as I have had of being looked upon as a prodigy and possibly at times idolized for his ability, his mind and his beauty (inside and out). I have not been allowed to communicate with him for a period of time, so I am sure when we reconnect, his eyes will see what I have seen and I can give him these gifts of seeing outside himself and fully understanding his blessings.

What it boils down to is this: My initial dream to educate my children gave them initial footholds into their beings. They are individuals, talented and intelligent and beautiful, who all will be given the right guidance and will find their own paths. They will always have something that will be like Vasalisa’s doll and Cinderella’s godmother—they will have me.

Introduction to Rest of the Story

Now that you know a little about me, let’s examine how many “buttons” I may have pushed within this story of self-revelation. I don’t necessarily mean specific details, though many can relate to finding difficulty living as a swan among ducks at times in their lives. And others can empathize with the wounded persona of self that puts her hand into the cookie jar only to find it trapped and unable to come out. I have been likened to Alice and Cinderella and other such fairy tale archetypes within my journey of enlightenment. The diamond in the rough like in Aladdin. The innocent Vasalisa who encounters Baba Yaga in the thick of the forest (from a Russian fairy tale I will discuss further).

But I don’t see myself that way. I have been described recently more akin to Pandora. THAT, my friends, is probably closer to my life’s work and journey! I find it an enjoyable and creative archetypal reckoning. I am the renegade more than the saint. But I have had both roles. I stick my hand into traps that challenge me to find my way out. I Love who I am and I Love what I do! Now the question, my young and dear friends, is do you find that acceptable? Have you been told your whole life that you are too bold or too mouthy or too selfish or too-whatever? Do you feel that deconstructing the balance makes you uncomfortable? Do you find that if you were tempted to dive down the rabbit hole you would be forever disillusioned and your faith ruined?

It could happen. I am not denying that. Emotions are illusions given to us to reconcile our experiences. There is nothing wrong with grieving over death, change and decisions that created a wrinkle or detour in your path. However, in the course of this book, I hope to show you how you can take back your control. I can show you how to do what others have done for me. I can give you the gifts of Vision and Reason, and with them you can create your own path and destiny. This is NOT NEW nor is it my work alone. I just find that in relating my experiences and those around me, I can give you a basis of thought that may provoke the thoughts in your mind and you can start to listen to the consciousness within you that will guide you in a greater and more balanced approach to living.

I may be a catalyst, but I am one of Many. I may be able to encourage and help you in some way, but it is whatever is within your inner being that will give you the strength to deconstruct your own beliefs, constructs, illusions. I may give you a doorway that allows you to bridge reality and fantasy in a way you would never have thought about before. I want us to see our connection between our current Spiritual self and our Physical body in which we are experiencing this story called life. And I don’t have to put it in a novel about a teenage vampire to make it pleasurable, but I might consider that one day!

I love to create pathways in the chaos. And most of all, I am a student just like you and everyone around you. My life is still going, so therefore I am still learning. Can we say we are teachable? If you see those around you as given up on their dreams, if you want to shake them and wake them up, if you want to shout it out that there is more to life than this, if you find yourself swimming upstream, then these lessons will be for you. Trust me, only our therapists tell us we can’t put a square peg in a round hole. Watch as we go behind the curtain and find the Great and Wonderful Oz.

Now we will begin to see why “bad” is “good” and “godly” is “earthly”. And we will find out what it means to be whole.